So You Have Two Cows.......

I leave you with this bit of comedy from one of my friends who NEVER calls or writes me anymore...but I still love him.  I will be gone tomorrow watching the mighty Rye Mariner Mites play in the New England March Madness (in February!) Hockey Shootout.  Have a great weekend.

Two Cows

SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour.



COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and gives you some milk.



FASCISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk.


BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the

milk away...



TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.



AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.



GOLDMAN SACHS VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of

credit opened by your brother-in-law at JPM Chase, then execute a

debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all

four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of

the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island

Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights

to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on

one more.

You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving

you with nine cows. The public then buys your bull.

Comments

[RPB]

Citibank - Hasta La Bye-Bye

[williambanzai7]

WE'RE TURNING JAPANESE
(Turning Japanese, The Vapors)
WilliamBanzai7

Sing along link: http://video.google.com/videosearch?q=turning+japanese&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&ei=I1SnSeeUCMPDkAX694TJDQ&sa=X&oi=video_result_group&resnum=4&ct=title#

We've got a Century's worth of horrendous economic news
You wrote "We love you" We wrote back "we too"
We sit here staring at Bloombergs, there's nothing else to do
Oh it's in color the DOW keeps going down
Our eyes are glazed And our deficit is flying in the clouds
Now we can kiss our own depressed asses goodbye when there's no one else around

We've got a picture, We've got your picture
Like a million years of stagnant economic hell
We want a doctor to take your picture
So we can look at your Lost Decade from inside as well
You've got us turning up and turning down
And turning in and turning 'round

We're turning Japanese
I think We're turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think We're turning Japanese
I really think so
We're turning Japanese
I think We're turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think We're turning Japanese
I really think so

No loans, no bonus, no jobs, no women
No fun, no sun, no good news, no wonder it's dark
Everyone around us is in layoff danger
Investors all avoid us like a cyclone ranger

That's why We're turning Japanese
I think We're turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think We're turning Japanese
I really think so
We're turning Japanese
I think e're turning Japanese
I really think so
Turning Japanese
I think We're turning Japanese
I really think so

[cjtommy]

gee...

then wondering the Obamism...