MonkeyBusinessBlog

Whew That Was Close

Well what looked like a problem start to stocks this morning turned out to be ok. So as we hover around flat on the day, October is going to look something close to a 3.7% gain. Not too shabby. Especially off the heels of a fine September. Good stuff. 

But we seemed to have dodged another few bullets or bombs or nukes with this UPS cargo warning at the airports and even some buildings being evacuated for bomb threats. Hopefully, the danger has subsided. But probably not, because, as of now, they seem to be tracing everything back to some monkey business going on in Yemen. This Yemen. A show of hands. 'Tis the voting season. Who votes for us to peel a few troops out of Afghanistan and Iraq and make this Yemen a parking lot? I thought so. Not too many good things seem to be coming out of there.

If some stress was added to your life today, I am sorry. Hopefully this clip can make you relax a little and still enjoy the weekend. And I don't mean by looking at JM J Bullock. But maybe Lydia Cornell. Have a good one everyone and hug some family and friends. Enjoy

 

Big Dick Just Brings The Treats

Editor's Note--Don't know if there's been a hotter handicapper on earth then our very own Big Dick this NFL season. We certainly aren't complaining. Now the "water gets a little deeper" as we go further into the season. Who are the pretenders? The contenders? There isn't a better authority to tell us, that I know of. So Big D, we don't want any tricks this Halloween Sunday, just the treats, pal. Just the treats. We know you can't improve upon that outlandish 3-0 week last week but we KNOW you can match it, baby! Take it away, big fella.--R.B.

Richie, you are too kind my friend. Too kind. Hey we just use the same methodologies we've been using these many decades to extract value. Sounds a lot like what you MonkeyBusiness boys do with regard to the financial world. But as we all know, the sports world can definitely be lumped into the financial world in a few ways. Maybe like the options market? Well, we'll OPT for some more winners. Get it?

The Bun-gles are horrible as a favorite. Guess what? They are a teeny-tiny favorite of 1.5 this week against MIAMI. The "FISH" are 3-0 this year on the road. Just lost a very controversial game to one of the top teams in the league too. Angry DOLPHINS mean no match for sloppy Cincinnati. Take the points.

How long before you think the Chargers fire Coach Norv Turner? Before the Cowboys fire Wade Phillips? It should be an interesting race. Vince Young should be ready to play for the Titans, Sunday. However, Coach Norv won't go quietly. At least on offense. The bookmaker tries to scare us with a high total of 44? Poppycock! Take the OVER in sunny San Diego.

Finally, on Monday Night Football, the Colts try to avenge a Week 1 loss to the Texans. There's that bookmaker again up to his old tricks. 49.5 is the total. So if I bet the OVER, I need the two teams to combine to score at LEAST 7 touchdowns? What?! Well, what is Big Dick, if not, ALWAYS thinking outside of the box? These 2 teams have gone OVER the last 9 out of 10 times. Make that 10 out of 11 pal. OVER!

So there you have it. Week 8's winners: MIAMI+1.5 @ cincy, OVER 44 SD/Ten, and OVER Indy/Houston. May our spine-tingling hot streak continue to all of our benefits. Good luck and god bless!

Book Em All Dan-O

James MacArthur, who played Danny "Dan-O" Williams, right hand man to Steve McGarrett in the ORIGINAL Hawaii Five-O, has died. He was 72. His death was of "natural causes". The show ran from 1968-1980. CBS thought so much of it, they decided to run it back in a new version. The new version is actually doing well. As a matter of fact, it was reported this week that 3.3 million people DVR it a week. Probably because it coincides with Monday Night Football. But that's still impressive.

Nothing can really beat the original. The cop show that changed em all really. With that beautiful Hawaiian backdrop, and McGarrett almost always catching his man. Or woman. The topics they tackled were also cutting edge for the times. Terrorism, drug trafficking, prostitution, organized crime, etc. they had it all. Of course, the theme song didn't hurt. But everyone got really charged up at the end, when more often than not, McGarrett (played by suave Queens, NY boy, Jack Lord) would turn to his right hand man, Dan-O, and utter those awesome words, "Book em, Dan-O". We figure over the next few days you're going to hear a lot of that. So, we've decided like usual, to go out of the box, and give you this clip, where for once, we see a couple of light moments on the set.

Dan-O, rest in peace, and I really don't know if there are going to be any bad guys where you are going. But if there are, book 'em ALL Dan-O, book 'em all. We'll miss you already.

 

Cross Your Fingers

Well its the 2nd to last trading day of October and we have probably had the best back to back September and October months in the stock market ever. Unless I just kiboshed the whole thing by saying that, and we drop 1000 points in the Dow for the balance of today and tomorrow. I used to have this "play around money" that I would just buy the S+P 500 on November 1st and not touch it until the following April 30. Then I would simultaneously short the market from April 30 to October 31. Because as you may or may not, if you break the calendar into two 6 month periods, ALL of the gains in the S+P 500 have been made from November 1 to April 30 on average. This year? I don't know if I'm gonna do it. I think the market may have already priced in this tsunami that's going to happen at the polls on Tuesday. And then what? Are the Republicans going to wave the magic "cost cutting wand" and everything will be good again? Um, no. It's still going to take time. So I wonder how long this rally in stocks will truly keep going. Good thing for my charts, eh?

Now I'm off to something called "Harvest Day" at my kid's school. NO Halloween costumes allowed. More politically correct crap. I wonder what we are going to "harvest" in East Harlem? Maybe the Republicans can pass some sort of bill, shooting people who stay politically correct. That might make me happy. In the meantime, keep the fingers crossed that the market holds up.  

Whistle While You Work

Whenever I hear the term "whistleblower", I laugh to myself and remember a funny time I had back at Bear Stearns in the mid 90's. CEO Alan "Ace" Greenberg was quite the character, as many of you may or may not know. Well, Ace set up a new program at Bear whereby if you ratted, ahem, whistleblew on a fellow colleague who was doing something untowards in a trading book, as in mismarking positions to earn more bonus money, you, the whistleblower, were entitled to 10% of the amount of the mismark. Talk about creating a "collegial" environment!

So, anyhow, this cat, who shall remain nameless, turns in his BOSS, who I guess was mismarking his book to the tune of $600k. Ace was thrilled. Ace was also not shy. With Jesus H. Christ as my witness, Ace shows up at the guy's desk with a photographer and a huge cardboard cut out check like they give out when someone wins the lottery. It had the whistleblower's name on it for $60K. They take the pictures and later that week in the "Bear in Mind" monthly firm internal magazinge, was a huge picture of Ace and this guy holding up the check. Smiling away. With a little article explaining the guy's "accomplishments". Well, needless to say, from that moment on, whenever and wherever that guy went, EVERYONE just clammed up and wouldn't say a thing! Unfortunately, the program was canceled after that. I wonder why. Like I'm falling down laughing STILL about this.

In the NY Post, "$96mm For Ratting on Drug Firm", tells the story of a Cheryl Eckard who whistleblew on the big drug company GlaxoSmithKline after they whacked her in 2003 for telling the company to step up on manufacturing at a plant in Puerto Rico. Shortly, thereafter she went to the FDA and spilled the beans. Well, Glaxo decided to pay a fine of $750mm yesterday to clear up all this business and Ms. Eckard received a cool $96mm for her blabbing. Sure as hell is better than $60k and a picture in the company magazine, holding up a dopey fake check, letting everyone know that you are THE rat.

Now that I think about it, and weigh all the pros and cons, I think I'm going to try this whistleblowing for awhile. Please send me all your ideas.  

Google This Honk-Us

Ahhh it looks like there's a nifty deal going down on the West Side of town. A new kind of West Side "Story" but this one doesn't involve Puerto Rican gangs. The NY Post is exclusively reporting that Google is about to buy one of the biggest office buildings in Manhattan for a cool $2bn. Yep that's a "B". The building is a whole city block long on 8th avenue between 15th and 16th streets. They would be picking it up for $690 a square foot which, for those of you not from NYC, might think that's insane. However, at the top of the market this building went for $1570 a square foot. Maybe somebody at Google has been reading the MonkeyBusinessBlog? Like I said yesterday, real estate prices might drop some more, but maybe not much more. Some people at Google, obviously think so. 

Kind of mixed housing news this morning too. The supply of homes available at the current sales rate is about 8 months now. Meaning if nothing else gets built, the supply of homes would be all sold in 8 months. Which is a very nice improvement from recent times when it got up to 12 and 13 months. I really like this stat, and since a healthy number is 6 months, this might be saying something. However, on the flip side I do think the national median price of $223,000 is still a little too high. Which doesn't mean there are NO deals out there, but you need to see that number drop before declaring a housing recovery.

You also need to see more people getting jobs. Kinda like this guy just did:

 

What Place Did I Come In?

Ahhhh the "Oracle of Omaha", Warren Buffett, has chosen a successor to be Berkshire Hathaway's Investment Manager, when Buffett packs it in. And surprisingly, it was NOT me. It's a cat named Todd Anthony Combs. Todd, 39, currently runs a fund called Castle Point out of Darien, CT. He's a 1993 Florida State University graduate, originally from Florida.

Well ain't that some whoop-de-doo. There was this other cat named Ajit Jain that runs some other outfit of Buffett's that doesn't pay anyone unless it has to, and "experts" said he was the frontrunner for this job. Shows you once again "The Oracle" moves to the beat of a different drum. Which is why I am wondering what place I was in for this gig. I mean I didn't apply for it, but I HAD to be an outside of the box choice right? I mean who else on a consistent basis tells you about how the Old Man steals and cajoles better than any of em instead of consistently kissing his "took-us" (technical term). Maybe I will call the "money honey" and see if she can find out how I did in this competition. It's really eating at me.

You can't really argue with Mr. Combs' performance of being up 28% since he started the fund in 2005 versus a drop of 49% in his benchmark. Not bad, bossman. Not bad. Do you think he has to move to Omaha, Nebraska now and live in a dumpy ranch house, and eat at the same diner everyday, like his mentor does? A word of advice Mr. Combs? See if you can hang in Darien, CT and fly out to Omaha on the chief's jet for important meetings and stuff. I would make sure you get your own pilot though bro, the other cat that was supposed to get this job was a David Sokol, who is CEO of Berkshire's NetJets. Be careful.  

Capitalism Is Still Alive

You know what is one silver lining in this Great Recession? We might be able to get a nice birds-eye view to see who is better for a capitalist society, the government or the private sector? Now don't say its obvious. There's still a few people left that think the Obama Administration can do everything better than ANYONE else. The cool thing is we are going to witness it.

You see, the Associated Press just stated in "Ford Keeps Rolling As Net Income Jumps, Debt Eases", that Ford is on a roll. And not the Ford Modeling Agency, assclowns. It's the Ford Motor Company, Michigan, US of MF (dirty technical term) A !! Yep the company reported 68 percent higher net income "because buyers paid more for its highly rated cars and trucks". You may recall, I was screaming to anyone who would listen, that when Ford decided to NOT become nationalized by the government a la Chrysler and General Motors, they were going to kick butt and take names. As a matter of fact, I was even going out of my way to say that if you REALLY believe in American ingenuity and enterprise, you would ONLY buy a Ford car or truck. Of course, I got grief for that.

Now the stock (ticker: F) is almost at $15 after being at $1.43 in November 2008. Did I buy the stock for all my yelling and screaming? Now I did not. Does that bother me? Yes it does. Do you think Chrysler and GM are better run nowadays than they used to be? Or better than Ford today? Time will tell I guess. I'm sure the Obama crew will use all those business skills they have to run a much better company and sell many, many GM and Chrysler cars. Or not. To paraphrase that Dos Equis guy, "I don't buy cars often, but when I do, I will buy a Ford." A nice comeback story that all of us can enjoy, no?

The Hub-bub on Housing

New housing data came out today. Prices went up. Good. But not as much as was expected. Not so good. If we walk around or watch the tube or the internet or even read a newspaper like me, we are told there is a HUGE cloud over housing that isn't going away anytime soon. Doom and gloom baby. Gloom and doom. This "Foreclosure-gate" is going to kill any chance of recovery anytime soon. Jobs are scarce. Delinquencies are up on mortgage payments. Blah, blah, blah.

I'll be honest, even I was a little scared there for awhile, thus postponing our purchase of the MonkeyBusiness McMansion. Which looks pretty smart so far. But for those who follow this blog, I'm zilch if I'm not a C-O-N-trarian. (Hint: that means I like to go against the crowd a bit.) So let me be the one to tell you, at this moment, I am a housing optimist. Yep. I said it. I meant it. Come with your comments to tell me what a big fool I am. I'm a big boy (and getting bigger eating lobster and drinking red wine all the time these days).

But riddle me this Batpeople, when inflation goes up, and it's a comin, what do you want to own? Yeah, yeah, yeah gold is nice. But the correct answer is what we like to call "hard assets". And guess what real estate is brotha? A hard asset. You can touch it. And when inflation goes up, what else happens eventually? Interest rates go up. Sometimes by a lot. What do we have now? Interest rates and MORTGAGE rates as low as they've ever been and housing prices in the complete dumper (technical term). And what happens next Tuesday when there's a "little" (I put little in quotes because I meant the opposite. You can wake up now, Jack) change in the political arena? And whether its a Republican or a Democrat getting elected, what is going to be the most commond denominator among ALL of these cats that win? They are fiscal CONSERVATIVES. Uh huh.

So when some blowhard comes up to you and tells you the housing market is going down, down, down and staying there, ask them 1) if they've ever heard of a business cycle, 2) how much they REALLY think they could lose by buying a house NOW and getting a 30 year fixed rate mortgage for 4.25%, and 3) was it some of their money that was part of the $260 billion or so withdrawals from the stock market by John Q. Public since March 2009? If so, ask them how they worked out for them and their "brilliance". Then politely tell them to go kill themselves while you are head to a housing auction to buy a house for $100k that once went for $450k, 4 years ago. As my kid says in karate class, "Keeeeeeee-yyyyyyyyaaaaaaahh beotch!" Well I put the beotch part in there, but you catch my drift.    

Accounting Has Math In It, Right?

Well that was a good rest. I don't even feel hungover. Well, not yet anyway. You must admit those investments in the NFL yesterday, from Big D, were like a company calling a special dividend, ten minutes after you bought the stock. FREE money! Speaking of free money........

So Reuters has an article today "SEC Questioned Warren Buffett's Berkshire on Loss Accounting". Now, normally accounting gives me a bit of the heebie jeebies (technical term), and I LIKE math. But this one caught my eye. You see, banks for a long time had securities which were deemed, "Available for Sale" or "Held to Maturity". The "Available for Sale" securities had to be marked to market to reflect good and bad conditions out there, but the "Held to Maturity" stuff could pretty much be marked anywhere you wanted. Which always struck me as odd. I mean, ok, you were going to "hold these to maturity". But what happened when you COULDN'T? Sure, the capital charges were a lot more for the bank on the crap they held in "Held to Maturity" accounts, but there was still so much "hide the salami" (technical term) going on, that no one really knew what the hell was up. So it all got swept under the rug. Until recently. Hiya.

So anyhoooooooo, I didn't even know "non-banks" could have these "Held to Maturity" accounts, and if they cannot, how in THE hell can Berkshire Hathaway hold stocks on their books to the tune of $1.86bn in losses, and not have to take that "hit" right away? Well I guess, that was a good question, cause I wasn't the first one that asked it. The SEC seems to have.

Can you imagine that call? Can you imagine, the shiza scared (technical term) SEC guy who gets the short straw on that project? Picture the SEC guys at the local tavern having a few cold ones and then one of the bosses saying, "Um, hey you, Jimmy, call Old Man Buffett and tell him he's "hiding the salami"." And half the staff is on the ground laughing? And Jimmy is all like, "Ssshhhhuuure boss. Um, what do I say?" Boss, "Tell that dirty ol' bastard, he's got $1.86bn in unrealized losses, that he's been holding for years, and we are on to him." You can only IMAGINE what the people at Berkshire said to this poor kid. They too, I'm sure were laughing. Yep, it's all fun and games until someone has to sell their stock with unrealized losses right?

The Berkshire CFO when questioned specifically about heavily underwater Kraft Foods and US Bancorp positions, officially said, "Berkshire determined both companies had enough earnings potential that their share prices would eventually exceed the original cost of the stock. It also has the "ability and intent" to hold the shares until they recovered." Does anyone else but me have a problem with that? Why don't YOU try that with a bank when you try and get a mortgage sometime. "Yes, banker-man, I loaned 50 G's to my crazy Uncle Lou, but that money is coming back to me. I have the "ability and intent" to bust his balls until I get my money back. And if not, I'll burn his house down, but not before I steal his Topps Baseball Card collection, so yes, banker-man, you can count that 50 G's as an asset for me. Yesiree." You think I'm that far off? Right.

We Make Money In All Markets

 

You must forgive me, as I will be going to sleep now. You see, I was out all night with Big Dick. I just pray you followed his NFL selections. I mean that wasn't just a garden variety 3-0 performance, that was a beating of your bookmaker of epic proportions. I mean the RAYYYDUUUHSSSS an AL DAVIS! 59-14?!?!?! I gotta get some rest. Oh and don't worry stocks are up because Tim Geithner told the Chinese to lower their currency. Whatever. Just go with it.

Math Can Be Dangerous

Since today seems to have a theme of odds, probability, and math with our Big Dick's selections and "Math Buddies" segments, let's explore what happens to math when it's put into the wrong hands, and given a financial slant to it. Bloomberg.com is reporting in "PPIP Funds Surge 36% on Average in First Year, Treasury Says", that we should be jumping up and down as taxpayers because we got more massive returns for helping to bailout the banks.

This PPIP, or Public-Private Investment Program, was a nice name for taking certain bonds that banks owned during the crisis and farming them out to "reputable" asset managers to see if they could do anything with them. As in, somehow make some money with them. Now these bonds were the "drek of the drek" (technical term meaning bad). How do I know? I used to trade those very bonds that went into the PPIP program. So as I read this bloomberg.com article, I am a little shocked that the bonds did this well. I mean I still have my contacts on the street and there are still VERY few people buying these bonds unless they get 'em at fire sale prices. Not exactly great for us taxpayers who own them at MORE than fire sale prices. Then I get to the part in the article that says the funds we taxpayers own via the gubmint, "have gotten $215mm of interest in dividend and other payments". That's good. But it goes on to say, "the funds have more than $1.5bn in UNREALIZED gains." Blammo!

What does this mean? Well 31.5% of their 36% gains are based on some dudes and dudettes marking the bonds to a certain price that "everyone can deem reasonable" in the market. HELLLOOOO! The only group that has bought these bonds in the last 2 years is........The PPIP funds! They ARE the market. Who in the hell are they going to sell these bonds to at those $1.5bn unrealized gain prices?!?! No one, Jack. No one. The math that I do here is the cash in our taxpayer pockets. You know what kind of CERTAIN return that is? 36-31.5 = 4.5%. Little different than 36% right, Jim?  

So if we go back to my 6 year olds from earlier and you say to them "well here are your small amount of chips that you can have NOW, but there are a lot of chips still in the bucket and they are yours but you can't have them until we do a few things." Wouldn't even the 6 year old be like, "Well if they are MINE, why can't I have them NOW?!?!" Then you'd have to explain how they aren't really the 6 year olds, right? It's funny money. A mirage. Then you got a kid throwin himself on the floor with a tantrum right? That's how we should be as taxpayers, throwing ourselves on the floor while reading this malarky. Clearly, not the math that we like here on this blog.

So I never want anyone to have a bad weekend from a last post of the week. So this song is for the "new financial math experts" at the Treasury and all these other PPIP funds. The silver lining? That's my pal Kenny in the white suit and pink ascot. Please watch the whole clip because you can really learn some new dance steps at around the 2 minute mark, that you can practice all weekend. Shame, shame, shame, indeed! Enjoy the weekend everyone.

 

I'm A Pretty Good "Math Buddy"

So here's a good story for your Friday.

I go to my 6 year old's class this morning for something called "Math Buddies". The idea is parents come to help the class with math. So I get there and the lovely teacher, Miss Ortiz, has a bunch of flash cards with numbers ranging from 0 to 9. I'm the only parent there, so they split in to groups and my kid, who is running for Mayor or something, says "I don't want to be in the group with my Dad, let someone else have a chance to play with him." So Miss Ortiz sends me off with Chantice (prounounced SHON-TEES) and Shoniya (pronounced SHOW-NY-UH). My kid goes with Jiwan (pronounced JEW-ON). I think I told you this school is in East Harlem, NYC right? Anyway we play this game where the kids flip two cards each and add up the numbers on the cards. The highest total takes ALL the cards. The winner of the game is the one with the most cards after all the cards have been used. So my kids get pretty good at it. Sometimes using their fingers when an "8 + 7" appears but again, not bad. So after a little bit, I raise my hand and say, "Excuse me Miss Ortiz can we improvise?" She says, "Oh sure." I said, "Great, do you have any of those little bingo markers?" She says, "Sure, how many?" I said, "Ah about 50."

So with that I say to my kid and Jiwan, "Hey you guys want to join us for a bigger game all 5 of us can play?" They jump up from the rug and scream, "YES!" So I say, "You kids are now gonna learn a little about odds and probability. These are great math skills. I'm gonna give you each 10 "chips". You get to "play" any number of chips from 1 through 10 by answering a question of "lower or higher" when I flip over a card. Now you may not get this now, but if I see a 0 or 1 get flipped over you better be playing all your chips and screaming HIGHER and if you get an 8 or 9 you better playing all of em again and screaming LOWER. A 4 or a 5, play small and guess. Everything else you are on your own. The object is to have a lot more than the 10 chips you have sitting in front of you right now. You get it wrong, you lose the number of chips you play. You get it right, I GIVE you double the amount of chips you play. Got it? Good." We go through a "practice" round and by the time we get to the next round, these 4 kids are screaming like its the hottest crap table you've ever seen in a Vegas casino. Miss Ortiz says, "Ok kids time to clean up." Adorable little Shoniya, screams, "Oh Miss Ortiz, PLEASE can I just have one more turn, this math game is GREAT!" Miss Ortiz agrees. By now, the entire class has surrounded us. It's Shoniya's turn. I flip over a 9. EVERYONE at the table screams. I say, "Sweetheart, we have a saying where I'm from. Go big or go home. You know what to do." She shrieks, "All of my chips. LOWER!!!!!" I keep them all in suspense as I look at the card. Shake my head like no, and see her little face shrivel. I flip over an 8 and thought the roof was going to come off.  WINNER! Kids are jumping up and down, hugging her and screaming. Finally, Miss Ortiz calms them down.

As I'm going to leave, my kid gives me a smooch. And little Shoniya comes over and says, "YOU are the best math buddy EVER." Oh it looks I'll be back again next month for the next installment of "math buddies". The way this class is progressing, I might even smell a field trip to the racetrack in the spring to really test out our math skills. Perfect.  

Big Dick Has Stick-to-it-ive-ness

Editor's Note--Yes Big Dick was 1-2 last week for his first losing week in quite some time. He was also 2 plays away from being 3-0, so it behooves you to NOT write him off. In his "Insider's Club" (a paid subscription service), Big D won with his Western Athletic Conference College Game of the Year last week when he took the HAWAI'I RAINBOWS versus Nevada getting 7 points. Big D didn't need the points. HAWAI'I won outright 28-21. There are a few teams that when Big D wagers for or against them he hits at about a 85% clip. HAWAI'I is one such team. Wanna know another team that is like this? Its listed below in the final pick of the 3 hopeful winners from Big Dick's NFL selections this week. I even found a wonderful old school video to commemorate such a selection. You will have goosebumps by the time you are done! Go Big D!! Take it away!--R.B.

Yes, Richie it was a bitter pill to swallow last Sunday, when we were looking great in all 3 of our picks for awhile and then only ended up with one winner. However, let's be frank, a bitter Big Dick is no fun for the bookmakers. Let's go!

The REDSKINS seem to be hanging in there and fighting almost every week. The coach certainly has experience. MCNABB is doing fine and his hometown is Chicago. Guess what? WASHINGTON is at Chicago. The spread is a very peculiar Chicago -3. When it's peculiar, you go the opposite of the betting public. The betting public likes Chicago. We'll take the 'SKINS plus the 3.

We lost last Sunday with the BROWNS versus the spread but, BARELY. I don't care who is playing, the quickest way to the poor house is to lay double digit spreads in the NFL. CLEVELAND is getting 13 at New Orleans. 13 is double digits, right? New Orleans is a classic "play up or down to the level of your competiton" team. They are also a HORRIBLE home favorite. Even last year when they won the whole shebang. As Big D's old buddy, and legendary handicapper, Lem Banker, says, "Too many, pal." Take the points.

Finally, Richie, as you stated, we just click with certain teams. Going for or against them. We cherish the moments that we get to "put them in play". How fortunate we are to have such a situation this week. That team? As their erstwhile owner would say, "DA RAAAAAAAAAYYYY-DUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHS". That's right boys and girls, OAKLAND. Sure they've fallen on hard times. But lately they have been no slouch versus the point spread. They play an overrated Denver team that is still licking its wounds from last week's last minute loss. The RAAAYYYDUUHHSS also have been very successful versus Denver even when they are bad. The line, you ask? Oh it's 8.5. OAKLAND is getting 8.5. Again, too many pal. We'll be cheering for Al Davis, the Brooklyn born owner, and the rest of the RAIDER Nation!

So to recap: WASHINGTON+3 @ chicago, CLEVELAND+13 @ new orleans, OAKLAND+8.5 @ denver. Good luck and god bless, and enjoy this hair raising old school poem and video clip. Note the last hit is a sack of Denver. Perhaps, an omen.  

 

Numbers are Numbers. Facts are Facts

I think you should know by now, if you've been following this blog for any length of time, that I was quite vehemently AGAINST any bailouts all the way back to when Bear Stearns went down that fateful weekend in March 2008. Any bailouts. Banks, Insurance Companies, Car Companies, "Quasi-Government" Agencies, J.S. Ragman (technical term meaning "Main Street"). Anybody. I mean I was on the boob tube, not a small amount of times, even saying I wanted to see bread lines. THEN, and only then, do people get the message that capitalism is nice, but there are risks involved. Sure, you can counter with the argument that there would've been a revolution and fighting in the streets, if the Feds did nothing. But I'll tell you right now, if something bad happens again, the Feds DON'T have anymore dough to bail anyone out. I'd also argue that if you let "the chips fall where they might" back in the fall of 2008 until now, you'd need no new regulation or more government intervention currently. Why? Because the President or any high level official could've simply stated: "Ok. So we had guys and gals who blew up the financial markets, housing market, and every other market there was, and created a new Great Depression. And you don't like living in the street or a van down by the river eating rice and beans heated over a garbage can, right? Good. So I'm gonna guess, your behavior going forward might be a little better. Now with the dough we saved by not giving it to ANY of you schlubs, we are going to buy all of the financial stocks and bonds that are still solvent, recut any mortgages that haven't been foreclosed on, to 3% fixed interest for life, and we'll come up with some nifty "no tax policy" for new companies for every 50 people that they hire. And the tax policy gets better and better for those who hire more and more. Now let's get back to work and remember how those beans taste and how that floor in the van feels each night to sleep on." You laugh about this, and say it's silly, but how far might we be from this situation ANYWAY--minus the money to make everything a bit better--after spending trillions and trillions already?       

Anyhoo, the results of some of the returns on TARP money are in, and guess what? We taxpayers made a lot on the money we loaned to banks. We might breakeven on the money we gave to AIG. We're losing money on the cash we gave to the auto companies. And, last but not least, we are getting our asses handed to us, (technical term) and COUNTING, on the money we gave to FannieMae and FreddieMac. So the communists will say, we just have to wait it out or something for the car guys and Fannie and Freddie "to improve". The capitalists will say the car guys and Fannie and Freddie have a VERY short term to fix their houses (pun intended) or they are eliminated. Did I mention how numbers don't lie? And that I like numbers? Not sure if communists do.

In Local News......

I'm in NYC so I guess the stock market counts as local news. Um......It's a lot hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigher! That's enough to say about that.

In local business, there's going to be a rally on October 24th in Manhattan on 91st between 2nd and 3rd avenues, to get the community all riled up about how the MTA (Metropolitan Transit Authority), the bus and subway guys, has completely ripped to shreds the 2nd Avenue small businesses while constructing the 2nd Avenue subway, slated to be ready in.....2019! The MTA has told the business folk, "sorry for the cranes, explosions, street closings, and mess, but in 9 years, if any of you are still around, you will thank us!" Clearly, the guys and gals who thought this one up haven't worked in the private sector before. These business owners get NADA in compensation or even tax breaks while consumers generally avoid the area like the plague. Me? I try and do my part everyday. You know. Liquor store, taverns, greasy diners, and restaurants, etc. Even the dry cleaning place that's pretty far from my pad, I spend in. It's the least I can do. I wonder who will be at the rally speaking and getting people fired up. I don't think Reverend Al Sharpton, but you never know. Anyway its a real mess. If you are in the area around 1pm Sunday, drop on by for support. 

Finally, many of you asked for an update on the Peekskill Galaxy 8 and Under soccer team. Well we lost again last Sunday, 3-0. We were down 1-0 late in the game, with a couple of nice shots at the goal, but it was not to be. They added a couple of goals when we pulled our goalie. One of the other team's "8 year olds" scored their first goal by blasting one from about 15 yards away, hitting the crossbar of the goal, and then following it up with a smash to the top left corner. I think some of my defenders (who just turned 6) were chatting about the new Dora the Explorer episode while all this was going on. But I'm proud of the kids. They are trying. And since I stated last time I like the line, "you are what your record says you are", and we are 0-2, guess what? Coach B just called a MANDATORY practice on Saturday. Yes, the day before the game. You don't come. You don't play. We're gonna institute some new plays on offense. Seeing as we've scored one goal in 2 games. But I smell it. This is our week. We play the Hurricanes on Sunday. What does that mean? As Ahmad from "The Bad News Bears" would say, "That's a whole lotta %%#$$@^ bad news for the Hurricanes. Amen. Brother. Amen.   

The Stocks? They Good

So people were ready to get the panic buttons out yesterday I gather. Stocks got beat up pretty good when word spread that Pimco and other big investors might be suing "el bancos" (Spanish technical term for banks) for shaky goings on with respect to bonds they bought from said "el bancos" and "illegally" foreclosured mortgages in said bonds. That could be interesting. And painful for "el bancos". So the stocks went way lower led by the banks. Today? A different story.

From the opening bell, stocks surged with favorable airline earnings being the driver. For those of us who own stocks, thatsah nice. Are interesting times still with us? Yes they are. Can talking heads do what I like to call "analysis, paralysis"? Yes they can. As they used to say on the streets back in the day, "Ask me DO I care?!?" No I do not. I own stocks. Just not bank stocks. I am proud. I am an Ameri-CAN! You should too, despite all the cries that the end of the world is near. Now I am going to drink an American beer, well maybe not just one, and watch the American pastime.  

"Goldman's Cooper Insists Lust for Money Not Enough to Join 2.2% Firm Hires"

From Bloomberg Goldman's Cooper Insists Lust for Money Not Enough to Join 2.2% Firm Hires

Goldman Sachs says applications for full-time positions rose 31 percent in 2010 from 2009. Only one in 45 people who apply -- 2.2 percent -- gets a job. Goldman is the most profitable firm in Wall Street history and divvies up billions a year in profit among workers. Goldman Sachs shares yesterday rose to the highest in six months after the company reported $1.9 billion in profit for the third quarter, exceeding analysts’ expectations. Still, Cooper says, those out for the money alone are making a mistake.

“When you are on the fifth version of something and working late, you are not going to have your paycheck piled up in front of you,” she says. “What is going to keep you going is that you are interested in the business.”

The Business of Sports

The question of the day: Is Teddy Forstmann, owner of the biggest sports management company on earth, IMG, a subscriber to noted handicapper Big Dick's, "Insiders Club"? You see, an ex pal of Teddy's, James Agate, is reviving a lawsuit against Big Ted for $3mm because Ted did not throw Agate printing business like Ted had allegedly verbally stated he would. Oh, but that's not all. Oh no.

Agate also claims Big Ted, "used company money to cover gambling losses, hired prostitutes as golf partners, and bet AGAINST two of IMG's biggest stars, Roger Federer and Tiger Woods." Now I don't know this Agate. I don't what he does. But let's get a few things straight here pal.

First, if you are an unmarried, filthy rich, 70 year old dude, who has the superstar athletes kissing HIS ass because he gets them all paid much more than they are worth, you are gonna due what you want. Next, this business of using company dollars to cover gambling debts is fine when you are the owner. It's called CASH FLOW from your operations. Or as some people call it "salary". How does anyone cover gambling debts? From company money. Even if that company doesn't have an office, but has a street corner selling junk. This allegation of prostitutes as golf partners? Well, well, well, let me tell you all something. Have you ever accompanied wealthy, superstar athletics or their agents? Pretty women through themselves at them all the time. As a matter of fact, I used to hang around a boxer that actually just fought recently, and we were in Vegas one time and there was this beautiful woman around him. Some of his possy said, "Look bro, I think she's a hooker. Watch yourself." To which the boxer said, "No she isn't. Watch this. Honey, are you a hooker." She says, "Um...........kind of, but this week I'm on vacation so you don't have to pay me." As Michael Corleone said to Kay in Godfather, "That's a true story." So Big Ted if you want to say these girls were on vacation and merely were happy to play golf with you, I got your back.

Finally, betting AGAINST Woods and Federer? Well, let me tell you something else James Agate, and all you other Teddy haters. If Teddy says to Tiger, "Tiger if you win this tournament, I can get you another $5mm from American Express in a few commercials. Go get em Tiger." Teddy does a little quick math and figures what his cut from Amex will be and then decides how to make it a win-win situation for himself. So he goes and bets AGAINST Tiger knowing he will pocket money one way or the other! Tiger wins, he loses his bet, but he gets the Amex deal. Tiger loses, maybe no Amex deal, but gambling winnings! And maybe the Amex deal too! That's called "hedging" or "risk management" where I come from. And its smart, not dumb, like people say.

So I wouldn't be surprised if this filthy extorter, James Agate, is an investor in this new sneaker that the NBA has outlawed that I think has springs or rockets in it or something. SI.com is reporting that like 30% of the rookies are wearing them! Cheaters!

Teddy, bro, I got your back all the way on this one. Anytime you want to call me for golf, or have a "hunch" on something, or want to give me World Series, Super Bowl, Masters, NBA Finals, etc. tickets, you can find me here. As long as you don't go to jail for any of this stuff of course. I have a reputation to uphold.

Not a Happy Day(s)

"Everybody's Father", Mr. Howard Cunningham, also known more affectionately as "Mr. C", played in real life by actor Tom Bosley, has died. A sad day indeed. For those who didn't or couldn't watch "Happy Days" back in the 70s, you owe it to yourself to watch a few episodes. For you younger folk who follow the "TV business lingo" these days, have you heard the expression "that show has jumped the shark"? It means the show is getting canceled. Well it all started from "Happy Days". In one of the episodes, the gang all goes out to California, I believe on a convention with Mr. and Mrs. C, and one of the great characters, tough guy Arthur "Fonzie" Fonzarelli, (played by little man Henry Winkler), wore his leather jacket and swim trunks and water skiied over a bunch of sharks in the Pacific Ocean. After that stunt, many people thought the show was canceled because it all got a little too "corny". Contrary to popular belief, however, the show ran for 2 more years! So "jumping the shark" is actually incorrect.

Anyway, Mr. C always had good advice for his son Richie, daughter Joanie, his wife Marion, Fonzie, and even Richie's pals, "Potsie" and "Ralph Malph". He seemed to always be right that Mr. C. But that didn't mean they didn't have a lot of fun with him. Here's a short clip where Richie and "Potsie" switch places to go out on a date with the daughter of a supposed "big guy" in Mr. C's hardware business. God bless Tom Bosley. RIP. He was 83.  

 

I'll Stay With the Business Stuff. Thank You Very Little.

Don't know if you happened to catch the New York State's Debate for Governor candidates last night, but I wonder how many people decided to leave my state of New York after watching that. And by leave, I mean permanently. My guess is New York's Governor is still kind of an important position, yes? Well if you looked at those 7, yes SEVEN, candidates last night, you might be "off" politics for awhile, no? Although I do think that Jimmy McMillan, who is running on "The Rent is Too Damn High Party" (I couldnt even pretend to make that up), looks like he has a future (for about a week) on some of the late night comedy shows. He must've said "The Rent is TOO Damn High" about 10 times last night. Hey, we at least know where he stands. I also liked the alleged "Madam" who allegedly supplied former Governor Spitzer with some "female companions" for a fee. Yes, she said if she were elected she would easily fix the MTA (Metropolitan Transportation Authority, which runs all the mass transit in NYC, and has a few budget and service "issues".). After all, in her former business as Madam, she claims her "business was well run, always operated on time, and all the customers were happy." Even I couldn't have written that.

So, while politics is always intertwined with the economy, we'll stay here and opine on the business side of things. I wouldn't want to be associated with politics, if you paid me.......even more then these politicians steal. But can you imagine if this guy Jimmy McMillan tries to become the head of the Federal Reserve? This assumes he'll lose the NY Governor's election! Look, Obama might be getting tired of current Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke not fixing things fast enough in the economy. After all, my favorite guy from "The Rent is Too Damn High Party", did say last night that "the economy will be healed by itself just so long as we listen to Mr. Barack Obama!" Jimmy, my man, you are angling for the wrong office, baby! Call Barack. Pronto. Lower that rent.

Hey Detroit! I'm Available

So it looks like the Detroit Economic Club has an opening for a luncheon speaker next Tuesday, October 26. Yep the Detroit Free Press is reporting that one of our favorite cats on this blog, former Car Czar, and currently soon to be fined and banned from the securities business, Steven RATTner, has been UNINVITED to speak.

You see Mr. RATTner was all set to take Detroit by storm, hawking his new book. Detroit being a nice place for him talking about all the "wonderful" things he did as Car Czar, and Detroit being nicknamed "Motown" for a reason. Only the business folk on the board of the Detroit Economic Club, had a different idea. I guess RATT-ner will need to go to some Saginaw, Michigan bookstore instead of this televised event to sell this book to help him pay the multi-million dollar fine he will be getting shortly. Bummer for him.

I just wanted you to know Detroit Economic Club, I don't have a book to hawk (yet), but I could keep people from falling asleep in their rubber chicken lunches for sure. Sounds like I would get along with some of you too, since you were smart enough to UNINVITE this assclown. I might even lead my speech with something catchy like this:

 

This is Like Englebert and Buttermaker

Did you know that almost $50bn (that's with a "B") in market value dropped from bank stocks over the last few days due to "Foreclosure-Gate"? I mean there's certainly politics involved here, as there always is, when filthy animals smell money. And that's a LOT of money. And where is this going? Well it's going to lawyers claiming the banks owe a bunch of somebodies money. And not a small amount. It might even go to: "Hey we got foreclosed on illegally. We had to move, but now someone is in our old house. And we want it back and our lawyer will fight for us. We're going back in. Too bad new house owner." I sure hope it doesn't get to that. But you never know. I find it "curiouser and curiouser" that the White House is taking the "don't ask, don't tell" approach in this whole mess, and deferring to the states. So far.

I can tell you this. The courts could give a rat's ass (technical term) about the financial markets if they are hearing cases bought into their courtrooms regarding foreclosures. So this could take a LOOOOOOOONG time to fix no matter how much the banks boan and mitch (funny switcheroo technical term) about how they need clarification, this is costing them money, blah, blah, blah. Which goes back to my position on why no one should be buying bank stocks still. Too much "under the hood" stuff or even "broken window" stuff.

Speaking of "broken window" stuff, this whole foreclosure thing reminds me of the scene in the Bad News Bears, when Englebert the fat kid, starts yelling at Coach Buttermaker, for calling him fat. Buttermaker, actually doesn't call him fat, but asks him why there is chocolate on the baseball. Of course, its because Englebert is eating a candy bar, because he "needs energy". Well then Englebert promptly takes the ball and chucks as far as he can. You then hear a SMASH. The next scene is Buttermaker and all the kids around Buttermaker's car with a huge broken windshield. Buttermaker says, "Now someone is gonna pay for this windshield. And Englebert I think it's going to be YOUR father." Englebert blurts back, "Bull^%##!" The whole rest of that movie, the windshield remains broken. Boy that's some analogy to this mess, wouldn't you say? I would. And I just did.    

You Bettah Watchit Sucka!

Interesting times indeed. I guess because it didn't happen in a highly publicized press conference during the week, people aren't talking about this little ditty from this weekend. Chancellor Angela Merkel from Germany said, "Germany's attempt at creating a multi-cultural society has failed completely." She added that immigrants need to learn the language or Germany will fall behind economically even more. This comes off the heels of a book by a former German Central Banker, Thilo Sarrazin, called "Germany Does Itself In" where he stated that their country is becoming "more stupid" by poorly educated  and lazy Muslims who wear headscarves. Um, the book is a best seller. I don't know if Germany has a GCLU (German Civil Liberties Union) but if they do, I bet they are aghast at these comments. Aghast, I say!

Anyway, last I checked this Germany still has a bunch of blonde haired white people. And the last time the economy was this bad was probably 1933. And that got some short, dark haired guy with a mustache to power. We all pretty much know how that went down. Keep in mind this Chancellor Merkel is (well maybe was) blonde and white. And pissed. As are a lot of people, not just in Germany, feeling like they are not able to feed their families while working (or trying to work) a bunch of jobs, and seeing lots of people get hand outs. And spare me the arguments that EVERYONE wants a job, unless you are a blue collar guy or gal, who are busting your asses, and earning about the same or less than some of your neighbors who don't seem to have to work at all. If you are ok with that, then you can let me know. Does seem to be the feeling in a lot of places these days, doesn't it?

I can't wait to see when new government policies come about all over the world and SPENDING is CUT. It's coming.  

And here's a message from another former woman Chancellor. I believe she was Chancellor of the Watts area in Los Angeles awhile back.

 

Blasting Into the Weekend

Kind of a blurry week. A lot of back and forth but not a ton of meaty stuff. Meanwhile, we draw closer to a pretty important election cycle. I guess its a forgone conclusion that the Republicans will take back the House. I must admit though, it's looking a little dimmer for the Republicans to take back the Senate. But there are plenty of things that can change in the next few weeks as we get to the home stretch. Speaking of the home stretch, I think I will fill Hollywood's pockets (well Disney's anyway) this weekend, and go see the movie "Secretariat". 

I also was listening to my musical device that holds songs (blahhhhhhhhh Apple) and realized that Obama and I DO have something in common! We both have Stevie Wonder on our playlists! This particular one below is one of my favorites. Even if it has a lot of subliminal "rastaman revolution" statements. I wish you all luck with Big Dick's selections, too! Enjoy. And enjoy the weekend.  

 

  

I'm Walking Off the Set, Too

I gather you've heard of this little "stunt" on "The View" the other day? Did anyone ever realize how wonderful a name for that show, "The View", is? As in, "The View", meaning there is ONE view. And if you differ from it, you are bashed and made to look like an idiot. Unless you are Bill O'Reilly and you cause fear in the dopey people who have that one "view". Then you storm off the set like those broads did when O'Reilly said Muslims killed us on 9/11. The lighter skinned fat one stormed off when O'Reilly dangled in her mush that 70% of the people in this country oppose the mosque in downtown NYC. I kinda wish he didn't get her too worked up because I kinda thought she was about to say something like, "yeah, well those 70% of the people are IDIOTS." Which you KNOW she wanted to say. But that's ok by me, because those 70% of the people are gonna vote in a few weeks. After Election Day, in between eating her quarts of Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream (I only use Ben and Jerry's because both Ben and Jerry were "communists" so I'm sure she likes them), she could keep talking about stupid people, when her "smart" people's policies and laws get repealed. But the moment I really liked on the show, was once the pale fat one left, the dark fat one, using her good acting skills, got up and left too! O'Reilly? He kept talking right after Baba Wawa (Barbara Walters) said leaving was a bad move by her fellow communist colleagues. Now they can go back to having about 10% of the viewers they had before O'Reilly appeared. Glad that's over.

Me? I'm gonna walk off the set now for awhile, too. Something about mailing my tax returns. And don't get cute anybody. I have been granted extension to file on October 15. Which more and more seems to be my tax day the last few years. Not that I give to homeless people on the streets much, but I can guarantee you, today they get oon gots (slang technical term). Be back later.     

Big Ben vs. Big Dick. Who Youse Got?

Editor's Note--I stand her quivering with excitement for the next "3 pack" of NFL winners from the always dominating, master of disaster, splendid sage, Big Dick. 7 out of his last 9 in the NFL, documented right here on these pages, is the thing grown men, women, and monkeys KILL for. Even those that aren't grown might kill for this info. I know I sound like a broken record but I'd rather not jinx it.......Big Dick are you aware that you can make a living on these choices, if you continue to go 3-0 or 2-1? Take it away Big Man!!--R.B.

Ah Richie, I often pontificate as to what is more of a high or a low. Is the high from blasting the bookmakers week in and week out, the best feeling in the world? Or does the low, of occasionally losing, make one want to pick some other vocation, like gardening? Let's just say the only way Big Dick is gonna get a "green thumb" is from the ink coming off his $100 bills, baby! Let's let the good times continue to roll! Here we gooooooooooooooooooo........

Big Ben Rothliesberger is back as the QB of the Pittsburgh Steelers, after a 4 game suspension, for some, ahem, unruly behaviorssssss. The Steelers went 3-1 in his absence and now everyone seems to be handing them the Super Bowl trophy. In October. As Glenn Frey of the Eagles sang, "Take it Easy". You don't think he's going to be a little rusty? Yes he will. The CLEVELAND BROWNS are having another "losing" season. "Losing" is put in quotes because they've been close in every game they've had. They are getting 13.5 points in this game. 13.5 points in an NFL game! Maybe its because the BROWNS may start newcomer COLT MCCOY at QB? They could start Lloyd Blankfein at QB and they might cover this spread. Oh and we aren't sure if you ever saw this cat MCCOY play his college ball at Texas, but this just in, he SLINGS the ball around like a real fearless cowboy. That means we also look for some fireworks in this game and an easy OVER the 37 total points! Well, well, well, another controversial selection from Big D and the gang. How do those controversial picks generally go for you? Right.

Finally, in the battle of 1-3 teams, someone's season effectively ends on Sunday and they face a loooooong fall and winter. The QB of the Vikings might not expose ANY part of his body on Sunday because he might not even play. Both defenses have been very decent this season. The coaching staffs won't want to lose this one. Which means no "trickeration". Run and pound with good running games and play good defense. That spells one thing: U-N-D-E-R the total of 44.

So as I sample my lobster fricasee with a side of very chilled champagne, we have 3 more fabulous NFL selections for you: CLEVELAND +13.5 @ Pittsburgh, OVER 37 Pit/Cle, UNDER 44 Min/Dal. Good luck, and of course god bless! 

A Little Tribute

Since we are going with the throwback to the 70s theme these days, and financial markets are basically unchanged, I wanted to mention a gent who died 25 years ago this week. His famous words should perk you up on a blah kind of day. I'll be in transit shortly back to New York and may or may not post until tomorrow. And of course, since tomorrow is Friday, that pigskin predictor of epic proportions, Big Dick, will join us with some more steamy hot money making selections. So for now, enjoy this clip. Here's Johnny! (Not the one you thought of!)

   

One Czar Has Been Overthrown

Boy, I feel like I'm part of the Bolshevik Revolution this morning. I mean this country is kind of like Russia at the turn of the century now anyway right? Well, the former Obama "Car Czar", Steven Rattner, apparently has struck a deal with the SEC so he doesn't have to go to the big house. You see, Steve once ran a hedge fund called Quadrangle and he his colleagues managed a lot of money there. As a matter of fact, he managed some of NYC Mayor Bloomberg's personal money. Well, allegedly it wasn't enough. And I say allegedly, because I'm sure this will be one of those settlements where the Czar admits no wrongdoing but pays a few shekles out of his walkin around money and agrees to not be on Wall Street for awhile. So, he allegedly bribed everyone associated with the New York State pension fund so that he could manage some of that money. Prosecutors have gotten some guilty pleas out of the the whole scam, too.

I wonder if the President weighed in on when this deal should be cut? As in, before the midterm elections so he can show he is "tough" on crime or some crap. Not sure. What I am sure of, is this assclown Czar has a book coming out today and if any of you buy it, YOU are the assclown of the week. Because I can't tell you what is specifically in it, but I can tell you what ISN'T. What isn't, is how this guy lied, cheated, and robbed his way to make a beautiful living. So if I do find that you bought his book, I will send our "Book Czar" over to you and make you buy TEN copies of our book, when it comes out probably in a few months. Got it?

I wonder if "Big Steve" gets to still go to all those black tie dinners? Not if he has to pay his own way, I can promise you that. Way to go Mr. "Democrat".

Some More Wonderful Entertainment

Merv Griffin you sly dog! Getting these cats at about the tip top of their fame! Let me tell you something people. After watching this video you will agree, that the hardest thing for Michael Jackson was to keep the fact that he had the moonwalk going for about 10 years before he "officially" launched it. At about the 1:05 mark of this clip, you see what that was. Moonwalk baby. In friggin' 1974! He knew it. And kept it locked up for a decade. Why? Because about 8 seconds later at the 1:13 mark he had to bust out another dance craze with his brothers, "The Robot". Good god this kid was talented. And the running into the audience and picking some stiff to sing with him! I think MJ was about 15 in this video. What a showman. What does this have to do with business? I don't know but I have some booze and my computer still works so I'm dangerous. Do yourself a favor and watch this whole clip. First person that directs me to getting the outfit that the brothers are wearing, wins a HUGE prize.