MonkeyBusinessBlog

Familiarity Breeds Mad Cash Money

Editor's Note--Hello friends! In the midst of all this Facebook love this a.m., we are focused on the real important things. Like the Preakness Stakes from Baltimore, Maryland tomorrow. The 2nd leg of the Triple Crown, baby!! Of course, Large Richard is here to help. He even has a baseball selection for this evening as an added bonus. But I'm gonna go put my hoodie on and watch in amazement as a company that makes VERY little profit, can have a $104bn market cap. And don't try and friend me on Facebook. I dont have a profile. Or whatever the hell they call it, when you are on there. Big D? The floor is yours good sir.--R.B.

Richie, we are extremely excited for this big Preakness weekend! We might even be taking a boat ride down to Baltimore for the big race, and if we do, pass the champagne, lobster, AND the crab cakes, pally!

Firstly, the baseball. Andy Pettite has made a comeback for the NY Yankees. Based on his first performance on Mother's Day, he may be able to add "pitching" to his list of forgetting things. As in, when questioned on the stand a couple weeks ago in the trial for his bud, Roger Clemens, he "forgot" some things. Funny how that works. What's not funny? The CINCINNATI REDS are getting +130 tonight (wager 100 win 130) against Pettite. We'll take the REDS.

Tomorrow, from Pimlico is the 137th Preakness Stakes. Wanna know how many of the 11 horsies have run at that track? 1. Wanna know his name? PRETENSION. The #3. We're keeping him in our exacta and trifecta wagers. We are also betting him to place and show at more than 30-1 odds. You may ask, "Big D are you a MADMAN? That horse is waaaaaaaay slower than BODEMEISTER or I'LL HAVE ANOTHER." Yes he is. On paper. They dont race on paper, pal. They race on the main dirt trick at Pimlico, fella. But that brings us to the next point.

In the last 30 years, theres only been 3 winners of the Preakness that did NOT run in the Kentucky Derby. We aint goin against them odds. So we gotta put BODEMEISTER #7 and I'LL HAVE ANOTHER #9 in the mix since they ran 1-2 in the Derby. So let's go with an exacta AND trifecta box of 3-7-9 and look for the 3 and 9 to "pick up the pieces" coming down the stretch, by passing other tired horses. And if you really want to be a "Madman Across the Water" in Baltimore, throw #4 ZETTERHOLM in there for the superfecta. So lets have the soon to be happy recap......

Tonight: CINCY REDS +130 @ New York Yanks. Tomorrow: Race 12 Pimlico. Preakness Stakes. #3 PRETENSION place and show (2nd and 3rd place). A 3 horse Exacta Box 3-7 (BODEMEISTER) -9 (I'LL HAVE ANOTHER). Also, a 3-7-9 triple box for more money. AND for you "Madmen" and "Madwomen". A 3-4(ZETTERHOLM)-7-9 superfecta box (all 4 must come in the top 4 in any order). Good luck. God bless. And if you see someone dressed like this person. Singing this song. It might be Big D.

 

Now, Are You HORSIN' Around for Somethin'?

Editor's Note--The first Friday in May. They have a female horsie race called the Kentucky Oaks. The first Saturday in May? They have a male and female horsie race called the Kentucky DERBY. Although there are only males in the race this year. Oh they've been doing these races once a year. For 138 YEARS. Grab your mint juleps, bust out your finest hat, and get singing "My Old Kentucky Home", because its time for one of the biggest horsie weekends of the year!! And who better to guide us through such a weekend? Why, Large Richard, of course. When last we heard of him, he was dropping us an EASY winner in the UNDER in the NCAA Championship game a little over a month ago. Go Big D! Gooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!--R.B.

"The most exciting 2 minutes in sports" is what they call the Kentucky Derby. Its pretty hard to argue with that. But lets first get to the girls. At 5:45 pm eastern TODAY, the 138th Kentucky Oaks is pretty wide open. We're going to go for a nifty longshot and say #3 SUMMER APPLAUSE at 15-1 will take the big prize. And to be safe, lets put a #2 GRACE HALL with #3 SUMMER APPLAUSE in an exacta box (If it comes 2-3 or 3-2 you win). Good luck players.

Saturday? Well, there's this thing called the Beyer Ratings. Its basically a measure of speed and performance for a horse's race. It was developed by a cat named Beyer way back in the '60s. Well the Beyer numbers can range from 0 (not good) to something like 130 (insanely good). If you have a horse that runs a 100 or better Beyer number, you got a nice horse. I think Mr. Beyer had the Kentucky Derby in mind when formulating his formula.

Well, people are going back and forth about this Derby as saying how soooo many horses can win. If you think a horse can only win, IF, it has run a 100 or better Beyer, then it makes it a lot simpler. Wanna know how many have run a 100+ Beyer in this Kentucky Derby? 4 horses. That's it. #6 BODEMEISTER, #8 CREATIVE CAUSE, #10 DADDY NOSE BEST, and #16 EL PADRINO.

To whittle it down nice and simpler, why dont we take from those 4, the horses that have run here at Churchill Downs, cause its a bit of a tricky track. That leaves us with 2. CREATIVE CAUSE and DADDY NOSE BEST.

So we will say, #8 CREATIVE CAUSE to win the 138th Kentucky Derby. We'll say #10 DADDY NOSE BEST to be close. So to be safe, an 8-10 Exacta Box, is in the cards. For those who want to swing for the fences and bet a triple or a superfecta, we will put 4 horses in a box for you. 8-10-14 HANSEN -18 SABERCAT. May the horses be with you.

So today 11th race Churchill Downs, the 138th Kentucky OAKS: #3 SUMMER APPLAUSE to win, and a #2-#3 exacta box. Tomorrow in the Kentucky Derby, the 138th "Run for the Roses": #8 CREATIVE CAUSE to win, #8-#10 (DADDY NOSE BEST) exacta box. And for the daring, a trifecta box (top 3 finishers) of 8-10-14 (HANSEN) -18 (SABERCAT), and a superfecta box (top 4 finishers) with the same numbers, 8-10-14-18. Good luck and god bless. And enjoy the clip below, and if you aren't charged up by the 2 minute mark, you are dead.

http://youtu.be/H3o65WOHhUQ

 

You Fishin' Around For Somethin'?

Well. well, well, spring has sprung. Sell in May, and go away. April showers, bring May flowers. And all that other mutha jazz. The economy is kind of......whatever. Stocks are kind of.......whatever, but higher. Ratings for everyone's favorite reality show are.........27% higher! That's the kind of stuff I'm talking about!!! What show? Come on pally. "Tanked". Animal Planet. Baby. Bought to you by BenSalz Productions LLC. The parent company of this blog, and MANY other things about to happen. And for all you buzzards who watch "The View", a man named Tracy Morgan was on today. And he said he loved "Tanked", and he's gonna be on "Tanked" with an awesome tank on a future episode that his boys Wayde and Brett are building for him. And how do I know this is true? Cause I'm going out to Mr. Morgan's home, in an undisclosed location, to watch them continue to build it in a short while.  

Tomorrow? Is the first Friday in May. Saturday is the first Saturday in May. You know what that means? Tomorrow we gonna be getting our friend Large Richard (aka Big D) to make some horsie picks for a little derby they run in Kentucky for the 138th time. Jiminy crickets!! So tune in again tomorrow. Right here!!

And of course, thank you for your continued support, along with about 1.5 million of your friends, for watching on Animal Planet on Saturday evenings at 9pm Eastern and Pacific. And for those who haven't tuned in? Here's a nice clip to get you off your tookus (technical term spelled phonetically)......

http://animal.discovery.com/tv/tanked/