MonkeyBusinessBlog

Meredith Whitney Starting Her Own Firm!!!!!

Hot off the presses....or actually off CNBC....Superstar, Mega-Monster, Bank-Bashing Momma Meredith Whitney is starting her own firm!  A while ago we said that she had done all she could do with banks.  It said it was akin to Bob Dylan figuring out he had done all he could do with folk music.  Time to move on!  I'd like to think this is a version of "Whitney Goes Electric!"

Anyway, God speed Ms. Whitney.  For the last time we play the special song we offered up to you and fondly remember the days where you crushed Citi, bashed BofA and way-layed Wachovia!

(I can't believe I lost the version of this song where the gangstas are playing ping-pong)

Our Two Favorite Ladies In the News on the Same Day!!

First the good news.  Meredith Whitney spoke today!  Always a treat. Bullet point summary:

• Bad bank is a bad idea.
• $500,000 pay cap won't work.  "People don't go to Wall Street to save the world.  Compensation is the motivating factor."
• Investment banks are still 30% over-staffed.

Agree on the first two, pray she's wrong on the third but she's probably right. 

Oh, unrelated to Ms. Whitney....Goldman wants to give the TARP money back?  That's great guys.  Richie, Axel and I are going to work up the bill you guys owe us for bailing out AIG and hence bailing out YOU.  Pay that back too and then you can do whatever the hell you want.  Until then, take thumb, insert and STFU!

Now the bad news.  Bloomberg is reporting that former Lehman CFO, now Credit Suisse officer Erin Callan is taking a leave of absence.  Here's Bloomberg;

By Christine Harper

Feb. 4 (Bloomberg) -- Erin Callan, the former chief financial officer of bankrupt Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc., is taking a personal leave of absence from Credit Suisse Group AG about five months after she joined the second-biggest Swiss bank.

Callan’s temporary leave was confirmed by Victoria Harmon, a spokeswoman for Credit Suisse in New York. Harmon declined to comment further. The leave starts next week, said a person familiar with the matter. Callan, 43, didn’t respond to two messages left on her cellphone.

Lehman Brothers was the fourth-biggest U.S. securities firm before its bankruptcy filing last September, the largest in U.S. history. Callan was promoted to chief financial officer on Dec. 1, 2007, and demoted about six months later after the firm failed to quell speculation about mounting losses and a plunge in its stock price.  Callan’s credibility was publicly challenged in a May speech by hedge-fund manager David Einhorn, whose Greenlight Capital LLChad bet that Lehman shares would fall. Einhorn said Callan spoke with him privately and then later changed her story about how the firm had valued a private equity investment.

Since Lehman’s bankruptcy, Callan has been among about a dozen former executives who have been subpoenaed to testify before grand juries, a person familiar with the matter said in October. Proskauer Rose LLP’s Robert Cleary, Callan’s lawyer, didn’t return a call seeking comment.  Credit Suisse hired Callan, whoadvised hedge funds at Lehman before her promotion to CFO, to run a unit that advises hedge funds. She was recruited in July, about a month after her demotion at Lehman, and she started at Credit Suisse in September.

Well that sucks.  Given that her job was to grow the hedge fund service business maybe she did too GOOD of a job!  I can't believe she had to take a break from Credit Suisse......they're so nice!

Meredith Whitney Doesn't Follow My Advise

Last week I advised Meredith Whitney, the uber-bank analyst from Oppenheimer, that she had done all she could do with regard to banking sector prognostications.  She hasn't followed my advise.  Here she is on CNBC talking about banks being in the crapper for the next 18-36 months.

Whitney Talks Banks on CNBC

I was really hoping that when she was asked her opinion about the banking sector, she would have said something along the lines of what Sarah Palin did at the Vice Presidential debates in October.  Something like,

"I really don't feel like talking about banks anymore.  They suck and will continue to suck.  What I really want to talk about is how the New York Yankees could pay C.C. Sabathia $140 million over six years when the guy has pretty much shopped the team's bid for a month.  Clearly, coming to New York wasn't his first choice.  The Yankees have had plenty of experience signing guys that can't cut it on the big stage.  It always ends poorly.  Additionally, Sabathia is a large man.  Some would even say, a large fat man who has the ability to put on fifty pounds in the off-season easily.  Fat pitchers with great long careers like Mickey Lolich or David Wells are the exception not the rule.  Therefore, I am downgrading the Yankees to another year without a playoff appearance."

 

That would have been cool.

I Know I Gave This Song To Meredith Whitney....But This is Too Funny!

Meredith Whitney Predicts More Bank Write Downs in Q4.......Boorrr-ing!

Meredith Whitney's predicting more bank writedowns, $44 billion, in the fourth quarter of this year.  We love Ms. Whitney here at Monkey Business.  She has her own special category on the blog and we have given her her own song.  With that in mind I have to say;

"Meredith, leave this mundane stuff to the lesser analysts that you have left in the dust.  Think about the true great ones, like say Bob Dylan.  He could have spent the rest of his career writing and singing folk songs.  Instead of that, he went a total different direction and went electric, blazing a new path.  Meredith, you've proven you rock the house as a bank analyst, there's little else you can really do but play the same old songs in that genre because its going to be the same thing, quarter after quarter.  Branch out girl!  Shift gears until it's time to call the bottom for the banks.  Take a walk over to the biotech or commodity producer analysts, throw them out of their chairs and start writing about that.  Your fans will probably hate it, just like Dylan's original fans did. However, once you show your brilliance in that arena, you will triple your fan base and become a true legend.  Until then it's just this little ditty from Aerosmith;

The Heck With Us Saying Citi is Gonna Lose More Money. Meredith Whitney Makes it Official and Credible!

Hell yeah!  It's been months since I added a post to the "Meredith Whitney" category.  I don't know what happened to bring about this omission but it's time to end it NOW!  From Bloomberg News here is the Damsel of Destruction;

“We are still cautious on the potential future dilution from further prospective capital raises for the group as well as continued higher losses related to credit and asset deflation,” New York-based Whitney wrote in a note today.

Citigroup’s “risky assets” total about $120 billion, Whitney said, reiterating her “underperform” for the stock

I am pumped (and on my 5th cup of coffee after a late night Citigroup vigil)!  Without further adieu, here is our own Meredith Whitney song, POD's "Here Comes the BOOM!  Still the funniest music video ever!  Gangstas playing ping-pong!

Don't Screw With Meredith Whitney....Just Don't Do It.

Meredith Whitney was featured in Fortune Magazine this week where she gave what she has been giving for at least a year now.  A frank and sober assessment of how screwed our financial system is.  According to Fortune's interview with Ms. Whitney;

"I do not think we are near the end of write-downs," she tells Fortune, "so I continue to see capital levels going lower, capital raises diluting existing shares further, and stocks going lower."

Unfortunately, we whole-heartedly agree.

My favorite part of Fortunes article was this;   

"Whitney's critics, and there are many among bankers and analysts, contend her bearishness at this point shows she simply doesn't now how to measure the remaining downside risk."

I think her little method of measuring downside risk has been a bit more accurate than these critics, no?  My only words of advice for Ms. Whitney would be to not get too chummy with the David Viniar's (Goldman's CFO) of the world.  Last week Ms. Whitney came out and categorically denied that Goldman Sachs was interested in buying a bank. The basis of this call was because David Viniar told her so.  Ms. Whitney has become the oracle, and there is no better person to spread disinformation through than the current Wall Street oracle.  If Goldman Sachs wants to buy a bank, they are going to use "the oracle" to take the wind out any rumors that could push target bank stocks up.  It's easy to lose your way when the whole world is blowing smoke up your keister.  Additionally, whats with the zebra skin?

Whitney Says Goldman's Not Buying a Bank & B-Slaps Merrill's Moszkowski!!

Meredith Whitney has spoken! 

The Madam of Mayhem, the Darling of the Downgrade, has emerged from her private meeting with the head honchos of Goldman Sachs and said, "While much speculation has been made about Goldman's interest in acquiring a retail bank, we believe the chances are less than slim." 

So there you have it, no bank for Goldman.  It's funny because just a couple of days ago Merrill Lynch's Guy Moszkowski told investors that they, "shouldn't rule out" a bank acquisition by Goldman. 

Mr. Moszkowski made some good points noting that while conventional wisdom might have you to believe that a bank acquisition would force Goldman to exit businesses like commodities, JPM Chase was allowed to keep Bear Stearns commodities business when they purchased Bear in March.  Nevertheless, I guess Moz wasn't granted the kind of access Ms. Whitney was given to the Goldman nerve center.

So who are we to believe, a smart guy, thinking independently (Moszkowski), or a superstar like Ms. Whitney who is getting the answers straight from the horses mouth?  When in doubt, we go with the smoking hot blond lady!  Sorry Guy, you're probably right but...

Meredith Whitney DEFINITELY Needs Her Own Song!

Oppenheimer's Meredith Whitney has spoken again!  This time Wachovia is feeling her wrath.  Nobody brings the pain like Ms. Whitney, NOBODY!  It has gotten to the point where we feel she needs her own song.  As my sick mind works, I heard the song first, then watched this hysterical video (a gansta rap song where they are playing ping-pong) and then attached it to "The Madam of Mayhem", "The Damsel of Destruction", Meredith "How You Like Me Now?" Whitney!  Ladies and Gentlemen, P.O.D. "Here Comes the BOOM"

Citigroup Downgrades Whitney!!

Today Citigroup analysts have downgraded Oppenheimer's Meredith Whitney from "accumulate" to "hold" and have put her on "negative watch".  Citi's analysts believe that Whitney is in danger of becoming a one trick pony with the whole, "Bank writedown thing."  Citi stated,  "Eventually we, along with our banking brethren will stop fumbling and bumbling and put together a winning quarter, or at least a flat quarter.  Where will Ms. Smarty Pants be then?"

Upon hearing the news, Whitney laughed and immediately increased her estimate of Citi's second-quarter writedowns from an arbitrary $12.2 billion to $14.4 billion. 

Mayo Gets the Call but Whitney Gets the Glory.

Big article this morning on Bloomberg about Deutsche Bank's Mike Mayo being the first to come out with a big downgrade of Citigroup last fall, two weeks before Meredith Whitney's famous call on Citi.  The title of the article is, "Mayo Gets to Citigroup First While Whitney is Everyone's Oracle.  That's how it goes I guess.  Ms. Whitney is now a rock-star, appearing on TV, getting quoted in the press hundreds of times.  It won't be long now before she gets her own TV gig.  "I just love all the attention", she said, "All the pressure is so much fun!" No offense but I nearly puked in my mouth when I read that, and I swear it's not sexist.

Mr. Mayo on the other hand, continues to pound away at his day job, doing some great work but known only to us on Wall Street.

Now, I know this might offend the four female readers of this site but there are some realities that we just have to face.  This is one of them

                         

Mike, you never had a chance!