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February 23, 2009



BANZAI7 NEWS: The following document has been obtained from a confidential source by the BANZAI7 NEWS SERVICE.





CC: Lloyd Blankfein, Goldman Sachs & Co.

AS YOU ARE AWARE THERE HAVE BEEN NUMEROUS PRESS REPORTS THAT A.I.G. (hereinafter branded the "Outfit") will be reporting a combined quarterly loss somewhere North of $60 Billion (yes SIXTY BILLION). This is a rough cut number. It could easily be higher should we decide it to be. In addition our current burn rate for legal expenses, public relations advisers, clandestine junkets and cash retention bonuses has been estimated to exceed $400,000 per second. We have a black hole that is getting bigger by the second. Moreover, our massive global financial services flea market has not delivered the proceeds we projected to you during the immediately preceding TARP crisis.

Rumors have been circulating that the Outfit has amassed enough weapons grade
credit default SWAP material to build a financial doomsday device. Make no mistake, these rumours are not unfounded. Our handler's led by Gabathon Kekst et al have been quietly disseminating this information on our behalf.

We have indeed amassed enough financial WMD to take out (i) Goldman Sachs, (ii) the entire European Banking System, (iii) the entire United States insurance industry, (iv) each and every one of your Congressional and government pensions,(v) the entire Chinese gaming economy and (vi) all Federation economic activity in this galactic quadrant. The risk we are talking about is not systemic, it is truly intergalactic.

Attached to this cover are 30 more pages of detailed schedules outlining (i) all of the terrible things that can happen and (ii) all of the embarrassing bi-partisan information we have amassed during the course of our extensive political intelligence activities to date.

We respectfully submit that it will be better for all concerned parties if each of you will pull up your socks and/or pantie hose before Monday AM, bite the bailout bullet and provide the Outfit with not less than $30 billion of additional TARP loot.

How these monies are to be provided is not a matter of great concern to us, since as we all know, in our system, contracts are only valid and enforceable when expedient and when our high priced lawyers Sullivan & Crumble so decide.

If the Outfit does not hear from you before the open of business Monday AM, R.I.P.

We Mean Business

The Outfit (formerly AIG)


another classic william!



MARCH 1, 2009

WASHINGTON — The United States now believes that American International Group has amassed enough weapons grade credit default derivatives material that with further putrification could be used to build a financial atomic bomb (FAB), a spokesman for the Pentagon/Treasury Department FWMD joint task force declared Sunday.

The statement went further than previous, official judgments of the AIG FAB threat, and it essentially confirmed a new report by the United Nations FWMD watchdog agency, which found that AIG had enough derivative materials to build a global financial doomsday device. “We think they do, quite frankly,” the representative said on “State of the Union” on CNBC. “And AIG having a financial nuclear weapon, I’ve believed for a long time, is a very, very bad outcome for the US economy and for the world.”


(The Boys Are Back in Town, Thin Lizzy)

Singalong link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FmPhJkdTwU

Guess who just got back today?
Those wild-eyed Bailout Boys of AIG, GM and CITI that had been away
Havent changed, havent much new to say
But man, those cats can keep generating Billions and Billions of losses

They were asking if Uncle Sam is around
How his TARP wallet was, where he could be found
I told them he was hiding somewhere downtown
All the Wall Street bankers driving him crazy

The Bailout Boys are back in town...

The Bailout Boys are Back in town...

You know that Hank Greenberg used to dance a lot
Every day he'd be on the NYSE floor shaking what AIG got
Man when I tell you he was cool, he was red hot
I mean AIG was steaming

That night over at Vikram Bandit's place
Sandy Weil got up and slapped Chuck Prince's face
Man we just fell about the place
That Chuck did'nt want to know, forget him

Friday night in Detroit theyll be dressed to kill
Down at dinos bar and grill
The drink will flow and blood will spill
If GM and the UAW boys want to fight, you'd better let them

That jukebox in the corner blasting out my favorite Banzai7 Bailout Song
The nights are getting warmer, it wont be long
It wont be long till the Bailout summer of 2009
Now that the Bailout Boys are here again

The Bailout Boys are back in town....


Maybe if we hanged some smooth-talking stockbrokers we could've avoided some of this.
There goes another $10K of my money.


Well said. I am sick of this shit too this crap has to end. Obama better beware, I see riots on the streets with pitch forks and torches.

amen bro. biggest ponzi scheme of them all.. and throw the goldman gang et al in the brig too that were the enablers

A C Shareholder

Here, here!

If you can not make a go of it at with $150 billion then forget it! GM and Chrysler have a point if we are whining about giving them 10 - 20 billion and the blackhole that is AIG wants to be at $210 and GROWING! Who thinks this going to be enough? Shut it down. Close it and tell anyone with claims to take it up with bankruptcy judge. GD pathetic.

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