It has come to our attention here at MonkeyBusinessBlog that the folks at CNBC are none too pleased with my truths I put out this morning on an earlier blog. I told you this was the number one business show on the internet but anyhooooo. These people at CNBC, on a day like today, apparently have nothing better to do then bother us. I say truths because I have this thing called DVR which used to be called TIVO that I looked at to see if I had said anything false. Guess what? I didn't when I quoted some folks this morning. This may be why the CNBC guys havent called for a retraction yet cause they have that technology too.
Anyhoo, I am angry at CNBC. They have disappointed me. But I am willing to help them out this last time. Even though Jim Cramer is an "experienced broadcast journalist" (he's also an "experienced hedge fund manager" but we won't go into his stock picking that we absolutely TROUNCE on this blog. That's for another time), little ol' Richie is willing to give a suggestion.
You see tonight in 10 minutes (6pm Eastern time), on his wildly unpopular show "Mad Money", Mr. Cramer will be hosting CEO Steele from Wachovia. Now I don't watch "Mad Money" and I ain't gonna start tonight but I can promise you Cramer has said something deragatory at some point about Wachovia Bank. If tonight, he plays the "ooooooooooh thank you so much for coming on you all powerful, wonderful CEO" and gives him these softball questions like most of his other colleagues do they should fire him on the spot.
Look, we've gotten practically all of this right over the last year and we are STILL saying its real crap out there. Its been in these pages, when we were on radio, and on TV, and when you meet us out socially (for the lucky few of you!). What pisses me off soooooooooooo much is all of these assclowns who are running these financial joints lied their asses off for soooooooo long and made this mess worse then it had to be. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay worse. If everyone would've just come clean, right away things would be better, trust me. But alas, this isn't the case. But now back to Cramer.
He NEEDS to ask in the first question after the hellos something like this:
"Um CEO Steele you have $122.5bn of Option-Arm Mortgages sold to you by that crafty rascal, Herb Sandler at Golden West Financial last year for some ungodly sum of money. Where are those very bonds marked-to-market on your balance sheet now?"
And when he gives some story about some mumbo-jumbo you cut him off and say, "look jack, you run a bank. When I ask for a mark-to-market I'm looking for a number not some story about how Wachovia is well capitalized. Whats the number and if you tell me something higher then 70 cents on the dollar you are a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr."
So if the guy walks off in a huff, Cramer and CNBC, THERE is the you tube moment you have all been craving. Ratings bonanza! And you know what? That isn't even shoddy journalism. Thats what your VIEWERS want to hear. That's what your viewers NEED to hear!
Now if the guy is brave enough to stick in his chair, you say, "Um Mr. Chairman, those things are worth at BEST 60 cents on the dollar and if you had to sell them right now, you'd be lucky to get 50 cents on the dollar. So youre looking at a 50-60bn hit on that portfolio, pal, when is it coming so youre nice shareholders can know."
Now CNBC people you are laughing right now at the amateur Richie B and his cute little blog. (I keep telling you though it's the number one business show on the internet). But let me ask you this, cutting edge journalists, if those tough questions were asked, do you think these assclowns that run these places could get away with half the crap they get away with? Exactly. So Cramer you can do this or not, you could even treat it like a "mailbag from Richie B in New York", I could care less, I'm gonna continue not watching your network. But don't you think you owe it to the people out there too explain what we taxpayers are going to be paying for? Not to mention why all these poor saps in the financial world who are losing their jobs got in trouble cause they drank their management's kool-aid?
We aint perfect here at MonkeyBusinessBlog, but we tell it straight. More straight then a lot of people. Which is why we had another record day in terms of hits that we thank all of you out there for keeping us the number one business show on the internet. And now I must say, "CNBC you are dead to me." And now back by popular demand:
